John egbert is gay
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im glad youre all following the instructions

remember when people on 4chan was trying to bring me down and went on and on about how they couldnt understand why i had 400 followers and that i needed to get off my high horse and get kicked out of the internet

funny how things turn out huh

lolainthedark replied to your post “you’re super cool”

*cough* Dave is a hipster *cough*

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the irony school, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on apple juice factories, and I have over 300 confirmed thefts. I am trained in apple juice warfare and I’m the top thief in the entire US armed apple juice thieves. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with irony the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of irony across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can rap battle you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed irony, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the motts apple juice factory and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will pour apple juice all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

roxy-drinking-lalonde wondered,

*MEEEP MEEEP* the cops r in the building ruuun daaave

posted 15 hours ago with 21 notes
#roxy-drinking-lalonde

Anonymous wondered,

you're super cool

TG: i know

posted 15 hours ago with 45 notes
#Anonymous

thelostsoulofcalliope wondered,

hey dave! i have a question and no it's not about movies or how awesome nic cage is! also you can't be mad at me for it. let's say you made out with your best friends brother, what would you do? would you tell your best friend? - john egbert :B

depends, what would you do if your best friend told you he made out with your dad

posted 15 hours ago with 18 notes
#thelostsoulofcalliope

dave-motherfucking-strider:

oomlow:

dave-motherfucking-strider:

john egbert has a small dick

pass it on

imageDave I swear to god

there wasnt really much to see

thenameisjohnegbert:

i forget to check my snapchat a lot and so when i do it’s literally all just from dave jfc.

love me

posted 18 hours ago with 49 notes
via: thenameisjohnegbert source: thenameisjohnegbert
#please

and then i forgot about it

how ironic

posted 18 hours ago with 22 notes

irony aside tho there aint nothing wrong with liking twilight you gotta respect peoples interests man